If you did respect her, you wouldn't really be having this conversation, would you? Or is it just society told you to have a problem with that? I mean you right we shouldnt judge by tha way Im a lady but come on get real please no matter wat you say a woman first of all sleeping with over 20+ men shouldnt expect to be in a healthy good relationship with a man who hasnt slept around like she does this article is ridiculous for real cause you didnt mention that a woman should be a woman and have respect for her body and self-respect as a woman period. So Stephan following your argument, if you would find a woman who 5-10 years ago had a gangbang and half of the town where you live had sex with her but now she is a very nice woman and has changed her values, you will embrace her and take her as your partner without having any problem or concern? cultures, from Africa, to the Middle East, to Southwest Asia, how men and women I mean really whos want to marry a woman that a lot of guys have allready seen whats meant to be special between you too..really? People learn and grow from their experiences. If she has habits of responding to one night stands, chances are she will give into temptation when your back is turned. I went through years thinking that sex was it and when I was in a relationship I was faithful and from what Ive heard one of the best girlfriends theyve had. 1) difference between studs and hoes. I dont ever wonder what I missed out on, I know the answer is not much! I started at 18, averaged 2.78 a year. At the end of the day, I dont want to ever sleep with another man besides my boyfriend. In choosing a partner for a relationship, matches up character and values is very important. If you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. The fact is a matter of biology. Most of us have things in our past that the next person can view in a negative light. He was 19 at the time. One called her a hoe. If you're honest more than likely you wouldn't. It just means that when a man meets a woman he has great interest in, he shouldnt walk away from that simply because she had high numbers in her past. Besides its a sinful lifestyle anyway. @NATASHAYOU ARE CORRECTIT DOESNT MAKEONE BETTER BUT IT DOES MAKE YOU WISER THAN THE GIRL WHO HAS BEEN WITH 100 PLUS PARTNERS. I dont even make eye contact with other men. No one should be lied to in a relationship. But how will explain Him away on that terrifying, yet, Glorious Day when you actually do meet Him face to face? Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. Do you think that you can scold men into non judgement ? Sleeping around especially as a girl is similar. So what is it about the number of sexual partners that makes it so especially unimportant? Why do you like her? She obviously had not displayed any of the 5 issues you laid out (at least she hasnt shown it one bit). I was promiscuous in 9th-10th grade. I cannot lie that finding out all the stuff about her hurt me because I generally do hold deep emotions for her, but as someone else stated, it is ridiculous to say "do not judge someone by their past", because the same cannot be said for criminals who committed a crime and now regret it. The commandment is that we shall not fornicate .male or female. Dont assume her personality/morality based on her sexual history. Altamera74 your position on this matter is very clear. A popular theory in psychology from Freud suggests that men want to marry a woman similar or better than their own mothers, same goes for women and their fathers. The hardest part for me to swallow is once she entered college, she slept with those other men in a matter of just a year. This isnt about telling women it is good or ok to have a lot of sex partners. Im not going obsess over the fact that my numbers may be to high. I have sex like a man. 6. After all, the past is the past, and none of us are perfect, and who are we to judge, right? Same boat. I am one who believes people can evolve and they can change. I believe having that talk will do a lot of good. to ask. What do her previous partners have to do with who she is today? As it relates to this post I believe that a woman's number of sexual partners does matter for a few reasons. This may make some Men unhappy, but it will work! Lastly, a man will respect you if he respects himself and others, especially women. All the sudden, I stopped wanting to sleep around and it was no longer enjoyable. Thank you Jessica : ) and you raise an awesome point. (if its true). GTFO, it should not work that way. but its not. That didnt bother me, because I dont really care. Ok. You can choose to believe what you want, naturally. Beauty fades, parts get old. 1)Sexually Transmitted Diseases (Sex with lots of people increase the chance that you have them) Sex doesnt hurt for me anymore, and its great! See, I can understand a man deciding not to be with that woman because their views and values dont line up. I just figured that if some of these ignorant people want to judge people they dont know Id give them a short and specific story. As ryaninfamous pointed out, women have the power to practically have sex with any man they want, whenever they want. Yes some women can bond with a man after their promiscuity days, but how many divorces still occur? I am not against a woman having sex, I just think that it should be The biggest problem I have with marrying who has had past sexual relationships, I waited for her, but she didnt wait for me. Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. So its reasonable to treat number of partners as risk factor it seems. Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it. Its not your fault. No one would want their daughter or niece to sleep around. If we had a daughter and son, our daughter would do those things as well because her mommy did those things so it must be ok for her to do it too. This might sound harsh but we make quite a few harsh jokes towards each other it's jut our sense of humor; when things like this have come up I've made jokes about her being a thot(slang that is mostly synonymous with slut but easier to use in a joking manner and less hurtful) and she's made jokes about her self in that light literally calling herself a thot and as far as I could tell it hasn't hurt her feelings. I respect everything you just said. N most of the time the dudes around you have the same type of woman. 0. Its ups and downs. HOLD ON TO THE SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST. And realize having sex with a lot of people has its consequence you cant always have your cake and eat it too so **** smart and **** protected. whether or not she has a(n) std(s)) is very important concerning the number of partners that shes had but if a woman tells a man that shes slept with 3 men and neglects to add the 0 at the end of that, shes being dishonest and that violates the principle of another post that you made (4 keys to starting and maintaining a successful relationship) previously. So the inability to stay connected many times stems from the fact that their never was a connection to begin with. Would you REALLY want to buy that car after you heard that? Plenty of respectable women do not live their youths as sluts, and it is THESE women who deserve our time, investment, and energies; not the sluts. I must have placed my comment in the wrong area so Ill place it here too. So try again to express your desire to know the truth no matter how tough of a pill it is to swallow. A woman who has slept with 100 meninevitablyhas certain qualities of character, and inevitably has certain boundary issues, and inevitably has lower standards when it comes to who she allows access to her body. That is what this article is really about. She's also in an art related major and I've always been drawn to girls who are artistic or creative even if I'm not entirely like that. dont forget the emotional wear and tear, the baggage. Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women let's view her as a human woman again. Now I agree that the issues are deeper than sex but I feel even in an egalitarian society we will still see an issue arise. I haven't really said anything about this stuff to her and have been avoiding it like the fucking plague cause I don't want this toxicity to leak out. Its the woman you wanted. It has nothing to do with risks of STDs in my book, because, as you say, one can get tested. And women who have slept with a lot of men are simply less likely to be deemed compatible as marriage-material. EXACTLY and guess what: YOU ARE BEING JUDGED for having the wrong amount! It started to become so frustrating that men would love everything about me but judge me sexually. While media still shames yet sells women. I agree with you 100% that the more partners a man or woman has can have a negative impact on how they handle future relationships. No, they dont. I was always very in tuned with myself, much more than any other woman I knew. The First and the Last. but come on now. That's what these things do. Error message when applying for student finance, Official Oxford 2023 Postgraduate Applicants Thread, Official LSE Undergraduate Applicants thread 2023, Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2023 Entry Thread, Official UNIVERSITY of BATH 2023 entry thread. Think its unfair? However, now that Im older and know what love is I dont open my legs as willingly. If you slept with a lot of people how exactly do you expect people to view you. Makes not a whit of difference to me. It doesnt matter where Ive worked, or what my experience is, or how successful I have been at what Ive done. Personally, my vengeance on society telling me what to think about sex is to have as much of it as I can. I appear to have acquired a stalker. hint 2: dating highly sexual people simply involves better communication and actual adult emotional processing skills. And for the women who cry out that the number of partners doesnt matter, then why not just be honest. . If you were full of life and it was so great and wonderful then you would ADMIT IT WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED. If instead, we asked, "Would you marry a man who had sex with more than 15 people", the first thought that would pop into my head would be "15? The commandment was and is for both genders of mankind. 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